Sunday, May 3, 2009

Out of NICU

If everything goes well, Qays will be discharged from the NICU later this afternoon, to reduce the risk of infection. And he's stable, although the PDA is still there, after 4 days of Indomethicin. Thanks to all of you for the prayers and well wishes...

My left arm is now swollen, probably stage 1 lymphoedema. Will get it wrapped today, or tomorrow...

And my cancer is getting worse by the minute. Lots of little nodules , tons of them actually, are comfortably making my left chest their home. The skin has gotten red and it's warm to the touch, which means the cancer is aggressively attacking all the healthy cells. I'm going for my radiotherapy appointment tomorrow, and onco doc has promised to see me then. I'm thinking of an earlier chemo...

To all friends and readers, thanks for your support, because it does mean a lot to me...

Friday, May 1, 2009

Qays is free of infection

Alhamdulillah...finally the infection has cleared off. It was serratia species, whch at its worst may cause meningitis. Thanks to prayers from friends and family, we made it through.

He is in his second dose of Indomethacin today. According to the nurse in charge, he would be taking the drug for 6 days, then the PDA would be reviewed. Hopefully it will be closed by then and he wouldn't need a second round of Indomethacin. If he does, there will be a two-week break before they could restart.

Sometimes I feel like I am asking too much from God, but there's nothing else that I could do at this point.

On Wednesday, for the first time, I held my son in my arms. Two weeks after he was born...

There's no words to describe how I feel. I so wanted to kiss him but I was scared that I might cause him to have another infection, so I had to be content with just rocking him in my arms for about 15 seconds while the kind-hearted nurse cleaned his incubator. I was even afraid to talk, in case my breath carry germs...

Then last night the same nurse allowed me to hold him again...for about 10 seconds...but those were the best seconds of my life...

I still cry...but I'm taking this better now.

I want my son to recover soon, so he could come home and be with us...because I don't know how much time I have left...since little nodules have merrily emerged where my left breast used to be...and nausea a constant companion...