Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I still cry, still about 7 times a day in average, but the duration has shortened.

Qays didn't respond well to indomethacin. It played havoc with his kidneys. And now they suspected him of having an infection, which is no surprise to me because he is placed with two other premature babies who are having an infection. Last night he was taken off milk because his tummy suddenly couldn't process 14ml of milk every 3 hours. Today the doctors restart his diet with a mere 5ml/ 3 hours.

The next plan is to stabilize his bloood count and blood gas, and retry indomethacin.

I finally mentioned these little nodules that emerged on my mastectomy site to the O&G doctors who immediately notified the surgical team. My appointment with the oncology team has been carried foward, for them to do all sorts of scans and restage my condition. I'll probably start chemo sooner than expected.

Anything for my children.

My biggest concern is I may not be able to visit my son 5 times a day like I'm doing now.

But I've come across some of God's gifts...a baby who was born at 24 weeks gestation and weighted 500gm was finally discharged from the NICU after 4 months, a 28-week baby weighted 780gm who are still surviving...

I will get through this. God will help me.


denise said...

Hi there,
stumbled on your blog from Raden's site.
Just be positive, I know, it's easily said than done. But you can do it, with faith to carry you through.
We may be of different faith, but I will pray for you to get through this. Keep focused on your faith and on your children.


Hi there,
I am a silent reader to this blog.My heart sank reading updates on your son.I'm a mother of 2 girls,recently both girls had super hot fever,flu,cough.I was extremely worried and upset.Alhamdulillah,both have recovered.For me it was a horrible 1 week i had ever experienced.Just can't imagine if i ever had a similar challenges like yours.Battling cancer and at the same time,delivered a baby like Qays.Just my opinion sis,dunt get me wrong.If I were you, I won't conceived.Enough with one.The reason is very simple.Science has indicated all the risks for the baby if the pregnancy is continued.Battling cancer is already a challenge,just couldnt bear another challenge of seeing a newborn baby with severe health condition.And the worst part is, the baby is our flesh and blood.Yeah,its true that as a Muslim, we believe that everything is in Allah's hand.However,still needs to consider science facts as well.I dunno sis. Well, for your case I believe that for everything that happened,starting from the day 1 you have decided to get pregnant after considering all the facts till the day Qays was borned and till today,semuanya dah ketentuan or Qada' and Qadar Allah.Sure ade hikmahnye.Deep in my heart praying for your health and baby Qays.May Allah grant you with the super duper strength to cope with these challenges.All the best sis and may Allah bless you.Amin.

TheSkyIsRed said...

Thanks Denise. I willpray with all my heart.

My daughter was a miracle of God because the docs told me that I wouldn't get pregnant after the chemo that I had back in 2004. 2 out of the 3 drugs were supposed to make me infertile. So I didn't take precaution and my daughter was born.

I plan to have Qays after seeing my daughter's interest in babies, and other reasns too. I did get a full body scan before I decide to conceive and all was clear. I was free of cancer.

This recent cancer is a second primary, meaning a new cancer not related to the first one, diagnosed when I was 20 weeks pregnant.

Sorry I got you confused, but you were right about what you said. Maybe I'm selfish...